"In love, I'm really unlucky": it's a joke that could be there, but it's just a joke. "In love, I'm really unlucky": it's a joke that could be there, but it's just a joke. To seriously believe that we are unlucky is an easy justification that explains why things happen and also provides a (absurd) explanation. Instead, as an effective American proverb goes, "Shit happens," which means that unpleasant things happen as a result of the nature and dynamics of life. It's not a matter of bad luck or opposing astral conjunctions. It is one thing to go and look for something unwelcome if something unwelcome happens to us. Because if all the guys we've had affairs with are wrong, it's possible that we're the ones who are out of sync.

«If she is with me, it means that I am attractive»: having a boyfriend next to us can gratify our need to be considered beautiful, charming, seductive. But is this enough to believe that the guy is the right one? If only he has fun during a sex match, without worrying that we like him too, maybe he's not so busy.

«I'm not pretty enough to have a cool guy»: here's a nefarious thought that we need to throw in the trash right away. The feeling of not being «good enough», of not being «pretty» or «bright enough», leads us to settle for stressful, unsatisfactory, even painful situations.

«On his cell phone he has three thousand contacts of girls, he certainly goes with all of them»: the worm of suspicion devours us and it is enough to be late for an appointment to deduce that he is having fun with someone else. If we have this fear, let's tell him that his elusive behavior makes us think there are other girls in his life.

«He has a thousand defects but I will help him change»: if we start with this idea, we have already lost. Two people who love each other accept each other as they are, and indeed they have chosen each other precisely for this reason. If the guy in question has a character we don't like, he won't change it for us.

«I like it, but there is something wrong with him ...»: if this sentence flashes like a meteor in our thoughts, we try to catch it and reflect on it. Our instincts are saying it, a powerful and physical call that urges us to do the right thing for ourselves.

What we had to do is be more courageous, more selective and above all more attentive to our needs and our personality. If all the guys we meet prove to be wrong, the reason very often lies in the fact that we do not love each other well enough and we are satisfied not to suffer, not to disfigure in front of friends, not to feel destined for loneliness.